Viewing Sex and the Average Female - How Important are Good Looks?
Sex and the Average Female - How Important are Good Looks?
By Robbie Lynn Giles
For years I suffered under the illusion that in order to have good sex, I needed to resemble a Victoria's Secret model. Needless to say, my sex life suffered as a result.
I had my moments during the few years that I spent devoting most of my free time to the sort of upkeep required to meet those standards: hours sweating in the gym, and running to various hair, nail and waxing appointments. I enjoyed some success, but it was fleeting. With all of this time devoted to upkeep, I didn't have much time left over for sex.
As I found myself changing priorities by spending less time on maintaining my physical appearance, and more time on my emotional growth, (translation: watching TV), I saw that I needed to find a way to feel sexual and desirable regardless of what's happening on the outside. I decided to consult the experts on this topic - three single guys.
When I asked Ben, a hot 24-year-old plumber, how important physical beauty was to sex, he shared a personal experience.
'I once dated this girl who, seriously, looked like a centerfold,' he said, 'but, sexually, she was like a saltine cracker. Even worse, she was like a low-sodium, low-fat saltine cracker.'
I challenged him with something I overheard in the women's bathroom. 'Honey, when you look this hot, all you gotta do is show up.'
'Is that true?' I asked.
'Not with this chick.' Ben said. 'No amount of beauty could make up for the fact that she lacked a human soul.'
Ray, a 40-year-old investment banker used a similar analogy.
'Sometimes it's nice to go to a fancy French restaurant.' he said. 'The food looks great with squiggly ribbons of sauce, and chives sprinkled over a tiny sliver of meat. It tastes great. You might even recommend the restaurant to your friends. But, it doesn't really fill you up the way Western Sizzlin can. A lot of beautiful women are like French food - pretentious and unsatisfying, while your basic meat and potatoes girls sustain you and keep you coming back for more.'
When Dave, a 28-year-old salesman cited 'personality' as the secret weapon that attracts men to average looking women, I was skeptical. I've always considered a good personality as the universal euphemism used by your best friend to try to hook you up with her boyfriend's loser cousin.
After some clarification, I think I understand how it works. Basically, the degree to which a man is attracted to a woman's personality is the degree to which she makes him feel desirable, sexy, smart, manly, etc. It's not as easy as it sounds. That's why it's called seduction.
Sexual attraction is complicated because it is primal and basic, but also emotionally complex. To buy in to the media version of sex being the exclusive domain of beautiful people, we deny the emotional component that makes human sexuality uniquely human.
Personally, I may never reach the kind of sexual Nirvana that goes beyond physical boundaries, but I plan to keep trying, even if it means eating more ice cream and sacrificing another day at the gym.
About the Author:
Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado, where she stars in her own reality show. She writes pithy accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. Please check out her regular blog entries at http://www.nextnc.com.
Article Source: Advice 4 Daters - http://www.advice4daters.com/